WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Domestic violence is the mistreatment of one family member by another. The most common perpetrators of abuse and battering are: a spouse, ex-spouse, boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, partner, ex-partner or parent. The most common victims of abuse are women and children. The abuse can be physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, and financial. 

Physical Abuse
pushed                                                          
kicked                                    
raped
dragged though the house                          
poked                                    
held down
threatened with a weapon                           
slapped                                 
hair pulled
restrained or tied up                                    
arm twisted                           
squeezed
locked in the house                                      
choked                                  
pinched
finger bent backwards                                 
cut                                          
grabbed
objects thrown at                                          
tripped                                   
kidnapped
pushed out of the car                                   
bumped into                          
suffocated
had head banged against the wall             
burned                                   
shoved

Emotional Abuse
embarrasses you in front of others
creates crisis to gain attention
having to live with alcohol/ drug abuse
constant demands on your time
only allows to see his friends, never yours
no relief or help with work, even when you’re sick
always worrying about what he’ll do next
threatens to hurt or kill you or him
suicide attempts
no privacy for you
unpredictable behavior
forces you to lie about your children’s injuries
threatens to hurt your family, friends or pets
not allowed to use the phone
tells you others don’t like you
physically withdraws from you
won’t talk to you – the silent treatment

Sexual Abuse
raped                                                                         
accused of having affairs
told body is disgusting                                             
told inadequate in bed
wanting sex after abuse                                          
forced pregnancy
forcing distasteful sex acts                                     
beaten if sex refused
bringing other women home                                   
criticizing appearance
told are fat and ugly                                                  
bragging about infidelity
constant sexual demands                                       
not caring about partner’s sexual pleasure
withholding sex                                                         

Financial Abuse
takes away your money                                           
takes full control of the checkbook
bills are in your name                                               
you don’t know about joint assets
no money of your own                                              
inadequate clothing, food, or necessities
sells your furniture or things                         
you have to account for every dime
destroys belongings you worked for                      
quit his job
never given enough money for the bills                  
forced to write bad checks
his wants come before family needs                     
not allowed to go to school or work
made to work                                                
spends food money on drugs or alcohol
forced to rob or steal                                               
forced to deprive children

Verbal Abuse
yelled, or nagged at                                                 
called names or racial slurs
women put down in general                        
cussed at
called stupid                                                             
told no one else would want you
talked down to like a child                                       
threatens to kill
puts down your appearance                                  
belittles things that are important to you
threatens to take children away                              
constant phone calls
told crazy/ stupid/ dumb/ idiot/ retarded                
told you’re an alcoholic/ drug user

Used with permission from the
Center for the Prevention of Domestic Violence, 23875 Commerce Park Road, Beachwood, Ohio
 

DID YOU KNOW... DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RUNS IN A CYCLE?

The Cycle of Violence

Tension Building Stage
You can feel the tension.  You feel like you're "walking on eggshells," like an abusive episode can happen at any time.  The unpredictability of your partner and the situation may feel even worse than the actual abuse.

Explosive Stage
You may experience intense emotional, verbal and physical abuse.  The tension can erupt at any moment.  You might feel like it is best to just "trigger" the explosion and "get it over with" so you can move to the False Honeymoon Stage.

False Honeymoon Stage
Your partner may say "I'm sorry," or "It won't happen again."  Your partner may claim the drugs or alcohol made him / her act this way.  You may be blamed for the abuse or be told that you "provoked" your partner.  You may feel confused and overwhelmed.  Reconciliation may occur, but the cycle will continue all over again.