QUIZ: HOW HEALTHY IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

DOES YOUR PARTNER...

1. Embarrass you with bad names and put you down?
2. Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
3. Control what you do, who you see or talk to, or where you go?
4. Stop you from seeing or talking to your friends or family?
5. Take your money or Social Security, make you ask for money, or refuse to give you money?
6. Make all the decisions?
7. Tell you you're a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?
8. Act like the abuse is no big deal, tell you it's your fault, or even deny doing it?
9. Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?
10. Intimidate you with guns, knives, or other weapons?
11. Shove you, slap you or hit you?
12. Force you to drop charges?
13. Threaten to commit suicide?
14. Threaten to kill you?

If you answered "YES" to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. If you need to talk, call our toll-free crisis line at (530) 544-4444.

DID YOU KNOW... DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RUNS IN A CYCLE?

The Cycle of Violence

Tension Building Stage
You can feel the tension.  You feel like you're "walking on eggshells," like an abusive episode can happen at any time.  The unpredictability of your partner and the situation may feel even worse than the actual abuse.

Explosive Stage
You may experience intense emotional, verbal and physical abuse.  The tension can erupt at any moment.  You might feel like it is best to just "trigger" the explosion and "get it over with" so you can move to the False Honeymoon Stage.

False Honeymoon Stage
Your partner may say "I'm sorry," or "It won't happen again."  Your partner may claim the drugs or alcohol made him / her act this way.  You may be blamed for the abuse or be told that you "provoked" your partner.  You may feel confused and overwhelmed.  Reconciliation may occur, but the cycle will continue all over again.